Author: Agnita Lazarus
Co-Author: Mansoon Mohanty
CONTEXT
I have come across a number of training programs, specifically for students and young professionals, and I have come to concede that they are all very good, except that they are not being put into the right practice everyday, somewhere there is a lack of foundation to it. There is always the quantity but the quality part is what that suffers. The purpose of this guide is to help trainers and students to learn and develop their personality effectively and provide enough information to help create more positive and successful people.
People pay thousands of rupees to get into spoken English courses, they get the training; speaking literary; but let us pause and think what do they really learn and what is being put to practice? Do they really gain access to that accent; that hold on words or personality development in that matter?
Have you ever wondered why an individual, organization or a country is more successful than others? It is no secret that they influence others with their confidence, their attitude towards a particular person or situation, their style and putting it more simply their ability to think and act effectively. I have come across students who specifically think they are inferior because they are not fluent enough in English but think less or shall we say don’t think at all in terms of developing an effective personality or taking into account their social graces which has an influence on others.
When these students attend spoken English and personality development classes, what they learn is talking correctly in English, mannerisms, using their grammar right and of course phonetics but let me tell you they don’t necessarily improve with the exceptions of a few. I can list a number of reasons for this; lack of practice and unwillingness to learn can only be one of these. How many people attending these classes do you know; can really speak English correctly without fumbling or dress and behave appropriately in interviews or other formal occasions.
Trainers are the influencing forces of change; to change attitudes and motivate students to a better personality. If trainers know what they are talking about in class it would really, I am not undermining the capabilities of trainers; it’s only that except for the exceptions of a few, most of the trainers do not give their whole into training, interested only on clearing up classes and batches.
Experience shows that human resources are the most valuable asset but in our country they are the most wasted; maybe because of our population size. When there is too much of something we tend to take it for granted or devalue it; we only attach value to things which are scarce and call it precious.
The purpose of writing this book is not to demerit anyone but to give an insight on what needs to be, and what it takes to be a successful human being. The journey from nobody to somebody!
A pre- training of trainers is necessary to begin with and a little homework on how to conduct brainstorming sessions, lively classroom atmosphere, and the right amount of light in the classroom, some peaceful music, a board and a LCD would be a great start.
INTRODUCTION
The purpose of this guide/module is to help trainers train their students’ more effectively a combination of both; English communications as well as development of a positive personality. Communication is a ‘two way' process. When you communicate you perceive the other persons responses and react with your own thoughts and feelings. It is only by paying attention to the other person that you have any idea about what to say or do next.
Every day is a new day in our life. There is much to do today. The early morning sun inspires us to start things freshly and put back our past. Only a handful of us make use of this fresh bunch of energy. In various walks of life this affects the way we behave and our confidence level. Confidence is a key to survive in this world. It is the only key tool to win the rat race in every walk of life. Confidence in ones’ own capabilities combined with sincere efforts helps one to achieve unthinkable heights. But many times we see that this basic element of confidence is missing in us. As a result of lack of confidence we perform well below our caliber. Be it in a public speech, proposing your beloved, vivas in your college or in an interview or say even on the eve before your exams. This can be due to fear of being rejected or failure.
If we look into our hearts and think, we will come to know that fear inside us is going to get us nowhere. The confidence inside us is going to take us places. This is because with confidence we can put our thoughts into words in a better and pleasing way. So we have to get out of that shell where we think whether people will accept us as we are or not? Instead of living in these unending moments of fear and thoughtless analysis it is better if we project ourselves with the skills we have with the gloss of confidence. With confidence we can portray the finer points of our personality in such a way that the places where we do lack are never highlighted.
Confidence should glow in us only till the point where our personality is boosted. Above this it leads to over-confidence that is harmful. Over confidence results in unsatisfied performance levels as the seed of ego grows into a plant in us. We then imagine and make big talks just to feed our ego. Confidence is all about being cool, calm and composed.
So; Do you have it in you??? If you think you don't, then boost it yourselves as your mind is your greatest mentor .You are your greatest motivator and only you can help yourself!!!
There are a wide number of sources of noise or interference that can enter into the communication process. This can occur when people know each other very well so; they should understand the sources of error. In a work setting, it is even more common since interactions involve people who not only don't have years of experience with each other, but communication is complicated by the complex and often conflict relationships that exist at work especially for a fresher.
People attend to stimuli in the environment in very different ways. We each have shortcuts that we use to organize data. Invariably, these shortcuts introduce some biases into communication. Some of these shortcuts include stereotyping, projection, and self-fulfilling prophecies. Stereotyping is one of the most common. This is when we assume that the other person has certain characteristics based on the group to which they belong without validating that they in fact have these characteristics.
Effective communication requires deciphering the basic values, motives, aspirations, and assumptions that operate across geographical lines. Given some dramatic differences across cultures in approaches to such areas as time, space, and privacy, the opportunities for miscommunication while we are in cross-cultural or impersonal situations are plentiful.
How to improve verbal communication
(1) Using positive words to challenge limiting beliefs
Verbal communication includes phrasing your words clearly and positively. Your words and the explanations you give affect thoughts and determine emotions.
Verbal communication that includes questions helps you challenge beliefs. According to Michael Hall, a belief is a thought to which you have said "yes", and you have affirmed by saying, "I believe this". It takes questions worded specifically before you can fully agree.
(2) Telling or reading a story
One of the ways to let others understand your message is by telling a story, reading a quote or telling a joke. Verbal communication through stories carries power to induce the person to relate to what you are saying or suggesting. A joke usually helps people relax more and is open to listen to you.
(3) Asking the right questions
Questioning yourself or others with precise words allow for answers. It makes a difference if you were to ask a "why" or a "how" question. The former gives you a lot of reasons, understandings and explanations while the latter sets your brain thinking for a solution, useful information or a strategy.
(4) Think and prepare before you speak
Whether you are going to speak in public, talk to your boss, spouse or children, you have to think before you utter those words. Verbal abuse happens when you express yourself without thinking and instead allow your emotions to take over.
(5) Reduce your usage of verbal pauses
Have you ever listened to how you speak and render your conversations? If you haven't and are unaware, request for someone to do so. How many times did you stop your sentences and added an "ah", "um" or "well"? You can also record your verbal communication and listen back to your style of speaking.
Too many of these will irritate your listeners or is perceived as uneasiness or uncertainty in what you are saying. In order to reduce the unnecessary verbal cues, listen to yourself and become aware of it. Then when you realize it coming, condition yourself to just a silent pause.
(6) Avoid careless language
Use your phrases with care. Talk and write in ways that allow for accurate description of your experience, thoughts or ideas. Don't expect people to assume and guess what you are trying to say.
Speak with specificity by avoiding words like always, never, every, or all. When you say to your spouse that he is always late when in fact he was late only twice, you are attracting an argument.
Personality can be defined as a dynamic and organized set of characteristics possessed by a person that uniquely influences his or her cognitions, motivations and behaviour in various situations (Ryckman, 2004). The word ‘personality’ originates from the Greek word Persona which means ‘mask’. Significantly, in the theatre of the ancient Latin-speaking world, the mask was not used as a pilot device to disguise the identity of a character, but rather was a convention employed to represent or typify that character.
In today's world academic knowledge alone is not sufficient to grow and excel in life. A lot of other factors need to be taken care of before we go ahead. We see such things on a regular basis. Today it is no longer possible to get a job or an admission just on the basis of an entrance test. Each of these processes is followed by either a Group Discussion or a Personal Interview, or both. This is clear that we not only have to be technically sound academically but also be the best on the personality fronts
Personality also dynamically enables us to grow and expand. Each individual depending on the effort put by him/her can improve on his/her personality. A simple example is: Generally a student, who has studied Mathematics throughout his life, would be more comfortable in Mathematics in comparison to one, who has studied English, or someone who would always run away from the same. This is mostly because of the attitude towards the subject.
Personality can also be understood the same way. How we perceive reality, how we react to life, how we look at things, will have an impact throughout the frame of our personality. Lot of personal growth and self-fulfilment can be achieved if one is aware of the need to develop ones’ true potential.
CHAPTER 1
THE BEST JUDGE…
I had read somewhere, I truly don’t remember, but it was written that ‘Love people and use material things instead of loving material things and using people. Because it is the peoples’ power that determines our future. And if I am standing before you here it is only with that conviction that you are that peoples’ power.
Unambiguously, I believe that YOU and each one of you are the generation next those who can not only show the pathways to our state, our country but to the entire world.
How many of you have the same conviction in you??? (Asking them to answer)
Conversing with them in English, making them speak/ introduce themselves in English. Observation of each student while they speak. Doing some interactive group activities/ playing some simple but meaningful games with them.
One fine day if your boss or your friend or your spouse tells you that you are most wonderful person on this earth; how would you feel? Great! The next day if the same person calls you a rascal then how would you feel? Terrible! You keep brooding about it the whole day. Why? If the same person calls you a wonderful person; you feel great and a rascal the next day you feel terrible, that means he/she is controlling your life. That is called, being externally driven. If the negative statement about you cannot rip up apart because you know what you are; and you are still a good human being; then the control is internal.
Once Buddha visited a certain village, and each day people used to come to listen to his teachings, they also bought with them small gifts to present to him during his stay. But everyday there was a particular man who used to come to him and call him ugly names, whenever he used to do that Buddha used to smile at him and say nothing, when he got tired the man used to go away only to return the next day and again call him ugly names and the silent smile used to be the same. One day, tired of calling him names the man asked Buddha, “everyday I keep coming and calling you ugly names, why do you only respond with a smile, don’t you get angry with me. Buddha replied, “Everyday, people come to me with whatever they are able to offer and I accept them with all humility, you also come to me with what you have.” Then he asked, “If an offering is not accepted, who does it belong to?” the man replied, “to the one who brought it”. Buddha replied, “I smiled and politely refused your offering” and walked away.
Now what is the moral? Buddha was internally driven.
Happiness is internal; it comes from being and not having. One can have everything in life and yet not be happy while another can be poor in wealth but rich in happiness. Nobody can undermine you or your activities or your qualities, at any point you should not be disappointed even if somebody does because you know what you are. You are the best judge of yourself. Don’t be ignorant about yourself and never let anybody else provide you with the knowledge of yourself.
CHAPTER 2
‘SOMEBODY’ OR ‘NOBODY’
Divide them into groups and telling them to prepare a skit, an individual speech for future. A small game eg; Chinese whisper or a short story with a moral.
Well, to begin with I must say our births on this earth are not accidental accidents. It has a purpose. It does. Billions and billions of us are in rat race. For what, to earn big money? To become rich? To become famous? To become celebrities? To have power?
(Put the question to all, make them answer, wait for an answer)
Why not? All these are the demands of the time. And we are endowed and entitled to have all these. But HOW?
This how is a big question. Millions of people try to earn big money, try to become rich, to become famous and to become powerful. But fail miserably. WHY? Because most often we tend to lose the essence of the wood while counting trees. And it is not only our lives fail there but we also fail our life. In the process of trying to reach for the moon we fail to see the stars. I am not discouraging you dear people to not wish for these things but let us not forget our real selves, our responsibility to our loved ones, our family and especially to become ‘somebody’ from ‘nobody’. There are a lot of people who achieve a lot of wealth and status in society but are still a ‘nobody’; you know why? Because they are still not contended with their achievements.
The choice is yours. What do you want to be? “Some Body” or “No Body”? Options are open for each one of you.
Let me tell you a story;
There was once a caterpillar who had a pain in one of its legs and was finding it difficult to move. The caterpillar decided to ask the wise old owl a medicine to relieve her from the pain. So she very painfully walked up to the wise old owl and asked him. “sir could you give me any medicine to relieve me of the pain in my legs?” The wise old owl thought for a while and then answered,” Mrs. Caterpillar why don’t you lift the painful legs an inch above the ground, while you walk, they won’t hurt as much.” The caterpillar very happy at the solution to her problem went back home only to return after a short while; she asked the wise old owl.” Sir gave a solution to my problem but how do I lift my painful legs an inch above the ground and walk?” The wise old owl answered,” I gave the medicine, now it is for you to decide how you eat it”.
Ask the students what the owl meant by saying thus.
My dear students what the owl meant was; he gave solution to the problem but to implement depends on the caterpillar, likewise I am here only provide you with a solution how you would implement it in your life and career solely depends on you.
End the class by asking them their ambition in life and what you intend to do to achieve that; will you be contented then?
CHAPTER 3
CONTENTMENT…
Start the class with a follow-up or evaluation of the previous class.
A small story to keep the flow and interest etched can be a good idea.
Let me start with a short story;
There was a young executive who came home one day with a bagful of work. His five year old son wanted to play with him but the father said, ‘Son, I have got a lot of work to do, I am behind in my office.’ The son said, ‘Dad, when I am behind in school they put me in a slower group. Why don’t they pt you in a slower group?’ The father said, ‘No son it does not work I a corporate world’. But the child didn’t understand. He still wanted to play. The father finally thought of a way to keep the child occupied so that he could get on with his work. He had a copy of ‘India Today’ with a picture of the world on the cover. He pulled out the page and tore it to a number of small pieces, called his son and said, “Son, go and put this picture of the world together and when you are done I will come and play.’ He knew that it would take several hours. But within five minutes his son came back and said, “Dad, I am done.’ The man could not believe it till he saw it was all done. He asked, ‘Son, how did you do it? I need to learn from you.” The son replied, “Dad, it was easy. On the other side f the picture of the world, was the picture of a man. All I did was to put the man together and turn it the other way round and the world came together.”
My dear friends, you too can put the man together and the world will come together. I bet. But you have to find out yourself who is that Man and for that matter the lady.
It does not matter what you are at present, because neither you nor I can change our pasts but we can ruin a perfectly good present and a promising bright future if we prefer to live on with the memories of our past. The sins those we have committed, our failures, our setbacks, our unfulfilled dreams, our unachieved goals and all those bla….bla….blas….
My dear friends these are the stumbling blocks on the roads to success. The negative memories of the past make us psychologically disable to set concrete goals for the future and to prepare a realistic roadmap to accomplish the mission of our life.
Life without a definite goal or a purpose is nothing but just living days out in vain. If one day is gone, one day is lost from our life. Only God knows who will live for how many days in this world. Very hypothetically, if I have left with 100 days more to live, minus to-day, it is only 99 days.
End the class by giving them something to think about which will make their minds work on what you’ve said.
But at the end of the day, what would you like to see yourself as, I mean laying on my death bed at the age of 100, how would I rate my life and living on this earth?
A successful and a contended one? Happy to have left behind my own legacy for the generations to come to remember? Or as an unknown citizen, who have not done anything special or different within his and her lifetime. There are people who are have lived special lives, let us take the examples of Mother Teresa, Mahatma Gandhi, Gautam Buddha, Dalai Lama etc while there are others who like us whose lives are well not as special, tomorrow if it would be your last day on earth would you be contented….
CHAPTER 4
WHAT’S INSIDE…
The class can be started with the question put on the previous day, let each one answer.
Let me tell some more on being contented.
Life is all about 4Ls. Living, Learning, Loving and Leaving behind Legacy. This is only possible for ‘Some Bodies’ but certainly and certainly not for ‘No Bodies’. Well, ‘No Bodies’ can earn millions and millions of rupees, may have huge bank balances, a few ‘alisan banglows,’ a few imported vehicles and everything that one can imagine in one’s dream.
If any one of you know any one such person in your life, who is at the fag end of his or her life. Just ask him one question: Sir, are you really and truly satisfied with the life that you have left behind? Try to get an honest reply.
Friends, my purpose of saying all these is not to discourage you to go after material gains. It is imperatively essential in one’s life. But that cannot help lead you a contended life.
Then the question comes: what else?
I do want to tell you a short story. Most of you must have heard it earlier. But I do want to repeat it.
There was a man who made his living selling balloons. He had al colors of balloons, including red, yellow, blue, black and green. Whenever business was slow, he would release a helium-filled balloon into the air and when the children saw it go up, they all wanted to buy one. They would come to him and buy a balloon, and his sales would go up again. He continued this process all day. One day, he felt someone tugging at his jacket. He turned around and saw a little boy who asked: “Uncle if you release that small black balloon would that also fly?’ Moved by the boy’s concern, the man replied with empathy, ‘Son, it is not the color or the size of the balloon; it is what is inside that makes it go up.’
The same thing applies to our lives. It is what is inside that count.
But prior to have a realization of what is inside us, we need and certainly need to get rid of our so-called stumbling blocks in our life that debar us from going up.
Let us start by cleaning ourselves inside out; changing our negative attitudes. It is easier to change your negative attitudes in your formative years but it still isn’t tough in your later years, only you need to bend a bit.
CHAPTER 5
EMBRACE CHANGES AND OPEN UP TO SUCCESS
Start the class by asking the students to narrate a story they have memorized, watch for grammar and correct it, then make them repeat correctly, the pronunciations, punctuations, pauses and voice modulation should be watched.
Help them with phonetics, if necessary start with the class on phonetics and practice everyday before class to help them exercise their tongue & pronounce correctly. (This will eventually build in confidence in them in future interactions in class).
Tell them a short story after this exercise.
There was a robber who amassed a lot of ill-gotten wealth. One day, he went to a teacher who had a reputation of great character and asked, “How can I attain happiness? I have lots of wealth and five hundred thieves ready to obey me but somehow I still feel incomplete and empty.’ The Teacher led him to the base of a hill, and pointing to three large stones, asked the robber to carry them and follow him up the hill. The robber could hardly move and said, “I cannot follow you with this heavy burden.’ So the teacher asked the robber to drop one stone. After going a little distance, the robber found it impossible to go up the hill with two heavy stones. The teacher asked him to drop one more stone and the same thing happened with the third one and the robber was able to follow the teacher to the top up he hill.
Ask them to say the moral of the story, let them think a while and then speak.
Now what we need to do?
Drop the stones in and within us for several years. Might be from our childhood, might be from our primary school days, might be from our high school days, might be…… a long list of unforgettable and unforgivable memories. Once we drop those stones we will be ready to embrace changes and open up to success. Let us be open ended, open to people and open to changes and open to situations. We should not let our thoughts/experiences weigh us down, pull us back. Let me ask you; if somebody is knocking you door what would you do? Your impulse would be to open the door, because you are curious to know who’s at the door because you are open minded; then why my dear friends, why are we not open to our lives? Let us close our eyes and think for sometime about all our stumbling blocks.
CHAPTER 6
DO UNTO OTHERS WHAT YOU WANT OTHERS TO DO UNTO YOU…
Start the class with a question; what is the aim of your life? Let each one answer then speak.
Friends, we need to differentiate between what is our purpose of life and living and aims and goals as means to achieve them.
Can WE????? Honestly????? Being honest to our own self?????
If not what would happen……?????
A contractor, who had made a fortune building homes, told his supervisor of 35 years, ‘I am going to build one last house and you will build it for me because I will be gone for a year. Use the best materials- money is no consideration. Make it the greatest house we have ever built.’ Having given this instruction, the contractor left. The supervisor thought that this was the opportunity to make a fortune. He used the cheapest materials inside but made the house look beautiful on the outside. After a year, the contractor returned. He inspected the house and asked the supervisor what he thought of the house. The supervisor replied, ‘It is the best house I have ever built.’ The contractor handed over the deed to the supervisor and said, ‘You have worked several years with me. This is my parting gift to you.’
Friends, what is the morale of this story????
Let them answer.
The best way of cheating yourself is to cheat others.
“Love your neighbors”; was said by Jesus Christ; is it easy? Yes, of course; it is easy only if we want to. You should do to others what you want others to do to you.
How would you feel if somebody cheated on you? Angry! You won’t want anybody cheating you. Then why should you think of cheating anybody else. Some people like to take advantage of others to gain more profit but fail to realize that it would come back to them in some other way. Life’s a boomerang, whatever we do or say comes back to us. We all pay for our doings in some way or the other during our lifetime.
Most of us are in the opinion that taking the Holy bath in the Ganga or confessing our sins before a priest or feeding poor people is the best way to clean our sins but let me ask you why cheat or do anything purposely and then ask for forgiveness? Well I am not criticizing or challenging dogmas but only trying to tell you how selfishness and dishonesty affects others and most of all us.
Who would like to recruit such people and even if they do unknowingly, which employer would trust the concerned person once the flaw is detected?
It is a generally agreed fact that successful individuals work with people and not on them. They work smart and not hard but are honest. They make friends and retain them. These people would always reach the top and stay there, and have a positive outlook towards life.
Personality cannot be broken up into distinct micro factors. Although a few of these can always be listed. These are:
• Self Awareness
• General Awareness
• IQ
• EQ
• Social Skills
• Presentation Skills
• Creativity
• Communication Skills
• Assertiveness
• Confidence
• Active listening skills
• Positive attitude etc.
All these factors and a few others can always be listed as a necessary part of the Personality of an individual.
CHAPTER 7
MOTIVATION
Start the class with a follow-up on the last class.
A class on motivation, how motivation helps in making even the toughest situations easy to handle, how it helps to gain confidence.
Remember friends that motivation always comes from within. No motivational Guru no trainings, no courses can ever define your purpose of life and living. You….You and you only can define why and what for you are living your life. What is the purpose behind living your life? How you want to be remembered after your departure from this world.
There starts your journey from “No Body” to “Some Body”.
How many of you want to be ‘Some Body’ in your lives????
If you believe YOU CAN- YOU CAN.
Say a story on motivation to help them understand better.
How many of you know the Biblical story of David and Goliath????
There was a giant who was bullying and harassing the people in a village. One day a 17-year shepherd boy, David, came to visit his brothers in that village. While he came to know about the giant he asked his brothers, ‘Why don’t you stand up and fight the giant?’ The brothers were terrified and they replied, “don’t you see he is too big to hit?’ But David said, ‘No brothers, he is not too big to hit, he is too big to miss.” The rest is history. We all know what happened how David killed the giant with a sling.
Same Giant. Different Perception
You know what you are but not what you can become.
Be not afraid of growing slowly; be afraid only of standing still.
Don’t let your fears demotivate you, conquer them. Your mind can help you or fail you; so you are the one who can alone manipulate your mind in the right direction. Lat us take the example of Lord Rama, how could he conquer Ravana in his land and take back Sita with only a small army of monkeys, it was only possible because he had tremendous willpower, the drive, the motivation to bring back Sita. If you don’t have that kind of a motivation in you will not be able to conquer yourself. Let us first get a hold on ourselves/our fears and the world will automatically come around
Tell them to memories these two lines above and remember to say it to themselves everyday.
Ask each group to present the skit (in English), that they have prepared earlier, in front of the class, tell the others to watch carefully and ask them questions on the skit, meanings of certain words, to change direct sentences into indirect sentences, active voice to passive voice etc. Carefully assess each student.
CHAPTER 8
INACTION AND INTERNAL MOTIVATION
Start the class with a follow-up and then a short story.
A man bought a racehorse and put him in a barn with a big sign, “the fastest horse in the world.’ The owner did not exercise the horse nor train it to keep in good shape. He entered the horse in the race, the very next year, and it came last. The owner quickly changed the sign to “The fastest world for the Horse.’
By inaction or not doing what should be done, people fail and they blame luck. Practice makes perfect. This is a very common saying heard by most of us, but do we really put it into practice? I don’t think so! Our memories are but weak and in need of constant practice. If we forget to revise on things we will tend to become weak in that or some other person may take our place.
Ask the students to deliver the speech they had prepared; see for any improvement in vocabulary, pronunciations and voice modulations etc, ask fellow –students to correct them if necessary but after each one has finished delivering his speech.
Ask any one student to stand in front of the class and give the class a lesson on phonetics. Tell them, everyday one student will be asked to give fellow –students a lesson on phonetics.
Conclude with a short story,
I will conclude this interaction with an example on what that inner motivation is.
There was a young boy who used to come for regular practice but always played in the reserves and never made it to the soccer eleven. While he was practicing, his father used to sit at the far end, waiting for him. The matches had started and for four days, he did not show up for practice or the quarter or semifinals. All of a sudden he showed up for the finals, went to the coach and said, ‘Coach, you have always kept me in the reserves and never let me play in the finals. But today, please let me play.’ The coach said, ‘son, I am sorry, I can’t let you.’ There are better players than you and besides it is finals, the reputation of the school is at stake and I cannot take a chance. The boy pleaded, ‘Coach, I promise I will not let you down. I beg of you. Please let me play.’ The coach had never seen the boy plead like this before. He said, ‘OK, son, go, play. But remember, I am going against my better judgment and the reputation of the school is at stake. Don’t let me down.
The game started and the boy played like a horse on fire. Every time he got the ball, he shot a goal. Needless to say, he was the best player and the star of the game. His team had a spectacular win. When the game finished, the coach went up to him and said, ‘son, how could I have been so wrong in my life. I have never seen you play like this before. What happened? How did you play so well?’
The boy replied, ‘coach, my father is watching me today.’ The coach turned around and looked at the place where the boy’s father used to sit. There was no one there. He said, ‘son, your father used to sit there when you came for practice, but I don’t see any one there today.’ The boy replied, ‘coach, there is something I never told you. My father was blind. Just four days ago he died. But he had always wished to see me as a good soccer player. Today is the first day he is watching me from above.
Internal motivation is the inner gratification, not for success or winning, but for the fulfillment that comes from having done it. It is a feeling of accomplishment, rather than just achieving a goal. It is the inner drive that makes you strong enough to achieve that goal. Nobody, but only you can motivate yourself.
CHAPTER 8
TEAMWORK
Start the class with a follow- up of the last class.
Divide them into three or four groups give them a topic to prepare for a group discussion the next day.
Group activity on Teamwork
Divide them into two groups and provide them with sheets of newspapers and ask one group to cut out one side of a human being and the other group the other side of the human being. Don’t let one group see what the other is doing. After they’ve finished tell them to try to match and join the figure into one, let them compare each other’s work, ask them their observations/feelings while doing the task, ways to improve, what changes they would do if asked to, what were the drawbacks while performing to task etc.
Give them the example of ants. How they work hard day and night and in a team especially, to gather food (perform a task) for winter, difference between the queen ant, the worker ants and the warriors.
You can conclude the class with a short group discussion on team work; its benefits. Explain to them its importance.
A Group Discussion is a group process or a team building. It basically means searching your team player, leadership and communication capability. It’s a form of communication which may be one to one, one to many and many to one, happening simultaneously among a group of people with an objective to find a conclusion.
While GD reflects the inherent qualities of an individual, appearing for it unprepared may not augur well for you. These tips would help you prepare for GDs:
Reading: This is the first and the most crucial step in preparation. This is a never ending process and the more you read, the better you get. While you may read anything to everything, you must ensure that you are in good touch with current affairs, the debates and hot topics of discussion and also with the latest in the IT and ITES industry. Chances are that the topics would be around these. Read both for the thoughts as well as for data. Also read multiple view points on the same topic and then create your point of view with rationale. Also create answers for counter arguments for your point of view. The electronic media also will be of good use here.
Mocks: Create an informal GD group and meet regularly to discuss and exchange feedback. This is the best way to prepare. This would give you a good idea about your thoughts and how well can you convince. Remember, it is important that you are able to express your thoughts well. The better you perform in these mocks the better would be you chances to perform. Also try to interact and participate in other GD groups. This will develop in you a skill to discuss with unknown people as well.
During the Group Discussion:
Some of the qualities assessed in a GD are:
Leadership Skills - Ability to take leadership roles and be able to lead, inspire and carry the team along to help them achieve the group's objectives.
Communication Skills - Candidates will be assessed in terms of clarity of thought, expression and aptness of language. One key aspect is listening. It indicates a willingness to accommodate others views.
Interpersonal Skills - People skills are an important aspect of any job. They are reflected in the ability to interact with other members of the group in a brief situation. Emotional maturity and balance promotes good interpersonal relationships. The person has to be more people centric and less self-centered.
Persuasive Skills - The ability to analyze and persuade others to see the problem from multiple perspectives.
GD is a test of your ability to think, your analytical capabilities and your ability to make your point in a team-based environment.
These are some of the sub-skills that also get assessed with the skills mentioned above:
• Clarity of thought
• Group working skills (especially during a group task of case study discussion)
• Conflict handling
• Listening and probing skills
• Knowledge about the subject and individual point of view
• Ability to create a consensus
• Openness and flexibility towards new ideas
• Data based approach to decision making
While, it is not possible to reflect all these qualities in a short time, you would do well if you are able to show a couple or more qualities and avoid giving negative evidence on others.
Steps to opening a discussion:
1. Be open minded
2. Don’t be dragged into an argument
3. Don’t interrupt
4. Listen to the other person’s point of view before giving your own
5. Ask questions to clarify that will also set the other person thinking
6. Don’t exaggerate
7. Be enthusiastic in convincing, not forceful
8. Be willing to yield
9. Be flexible on petty things but not on principles
10. Don’t make it a prestige issue
11. Give your opponent a graceful way to withdraw without hurting his pride. Rejection can be hurtful
12. Use soft words but hard arguments rather than hard words and soft arguments
CHAPTER 10
DIGGING FOR GOLD!!!
Start the day with a follow up of the previous day.
We need to become ‘good finders’, to focus on the positive in life. Let’s start looking for what is right in a person or situation instead of looking for what is wrong.
Let me tell u a short story,
As a young Scots boy, Andrew Carnegie came to America and started doing odd jobs. He ended up as one of the largest steel manufacturers in the U.S.
At one time he had 43 millionaires working for him. Several decades ago, a million dollars used to be a lot of money, even today it is a lot of money. Someone asked Mr. Carnegie how he dealt with people? Andrew Carnegie replied, “Dealing with people is like digging gold. When you go digging for an ounce of gold, you have to move tons of dirt to get an ounce of gold. But when you go digging, you don’t go looking for dirt, you go looking for the gold”.
What is your focus? Become a digger for gold. If you are looking for what it wrong with people or with things you will find many.
Andrew Carnegie’s reply has a very important message. There is something positive in every person and every situation. Sometimes we have to dig deep to look for the positive because it may not be apparent. Besides, we are so used to looking for what is wrong with other people and situations; we forget to see what is right. Someone once said that even a stopped clock is right twice a day.
Remember- when you go looking for gold you have to move tons of dirt to get an ounce of gold. But when you go looking, you don’t go looking for the dirt, you go looking for the gold and not rest until you find that gold. An ounce of good is as precious as an ounce of gold in dirt.
Through constant practice and exposure, we can learn the principles that make a person successful just like we learn to play basketball!
No matter how excited you are about your work/business, with so many distractions and things that may be going on in your life, you can easily find yourself losing focus on your goals and what you want to accomplish.
Finish what you start you probably have heard the saying, "So many things to do and not enough time to do them." Even though that may be true, you still have to complete them all, especially if these things help you to reach your goals. To make it easier for you, just take one thing you have to do and complete that task until it is done. When it is done, you will feel a sense of accomplishment and it will motivate you to move on to your next task.
Make any one student read the story again aloud and ask another student to point out and correct mistakes if any in grammar, vocabulary etc. let the others asks simple questions on it like; what is a dollar?, what should dig for? etc.
CHAPTER 11
SELECTIVE LISTENING
Start the class with a little follow- up of the last class, and then start a game involving all the students, you can try Chinese whisper make the whole class participate. After the last person says what he heard ask him to compare what was actually said.
A short story on how to listen carefully instead of selective listening.
To give you an example of selective listening, let me share with you a short story.
I heard about a certain medical doctor who was invited as a guest speaker to address a group of alcoholics. He wanted to a demonstration that would be powerful enough to make people realize that alcohol was injuries to their health. He had two containers, one with pure distilled water and one with pure alcohol. He put an earthworm into the distilled water ant it swarm beautifully and came up to the top. He put another earthworm into the alcohol and it disintegrated in front of everyone’s eyes. He wanted to prove that this was what alcohol did to the insides of our body. He asked the group the moral of the story.
Can you tell me the moral?
Well one person from the group said,” the moral of the story is, if you drink too much of alcohol you won’t have worms in your stomach.”
Was that the message?
Of course not, that was selective listening- we hear what we want to hear and not what is being said.
Some people hear according to their convenience, they hear exactly what they intend to hear and deliberately don’t hear what they don’t want to.
Some tips to effective listening:
If you have poor communications skills, your productivity/output will suffer simply because you do not have the expertise needed to influence, persuade and negotiate.for effective communication. Lines of communications must be simple and open between people, (avoid using unnecessary language/words) who rely on one another to get work done.
Considering this, you must be able to listen attentively if you are to perform according to expectations, avoid conflicts and misunderstandings etc. You must really try to listen to what the other person’s saying.
Understanding Your Communication Style
Good communication skills require a high level of self-awareness and self- esteem. Understanding your personal style of communicating will go a long way toward helping you to create good and lasting impressions on others. By becoming more aware of how others perceive/see you, you can use styles of communicating in order to be an effective communicator. You can make others more comfortable with you by selecting and emphasizing certain behaviors that fit within your personality and resonate with another.
Be An Active Listener
When you are hearing a lecture for a long time,you tend to divert and start thinking about other things; usually the mind wanders. A person speaks at the rate of 100 to 175 words per minute, but they can listen intelligently upto 300 words per minute. Since only a part of our mind is paying attention, it is easy to drift while listening/ thinking about other things while listening to someone. Acitive listening is listening with a purpose. It may be to gain information, obtain directions, understand others, solve problems, share interest, or simply to hear relaxing words; etc.
If you're finding it particularly difficult to concentrate on what someone is saying, try repeating their words mentally or focus on their words; this will reinforce their message and help you to listen properly.
Nonverbal Communication
Use nonverbal behaviors to show as well as gain interest of interpersonal communication. Nonverbal communication is facial expressions like your attitude, gestures, eye contact, and even your posture. All this shows that you are indeed interested and listening actively this will prompt further communications while keeping misunderstandings and ill-feelings at a minimum.
Try to understand what idea the other person is trying to put across
when somebody is talking to you, try to understand and listen carefully what he is trying to say. Remember that what one says and what we hear can be amazingly different! Our personal filters, assumptions, judgments, and beliefs can distort what we hear.Ensure that you understand, restate what you hear. If you find yourself responding emotionally to what others say, say so, and try to discuss about it if possible. "I may be wrong in understanding you correctly, but I thought you said XXX; is that what you meant?"
This clearly demonstrates that you are actively listening and confirms good communications between you and others. Obviously, this serves to further ensure that communications are properly understood and actively heard.
At times when a person does not feel like listening. it is probably more courteous to inform him/her, that it is not a suitable time to talk rather than to pretend to listen. However, sometimes (for example a job site), a person may not have that option and will need to use all of her energy to listen.
Ask anybody from among the students to narrate an incident or cite any other example on selective listening in front of the class.
Give a student volunteer a paragraph to read aloud outside in the garden while another student to stand very far, quite far, maybe in the corridor and try to decipher what the other person is reading.
CHAPTER 12
PLAY TO WIN!!! BE A LEADER!!!
Start the class as usual with a follow- up of the previous class.
There is a big difference between playing to win and playing not to lose. When we play to win, we play with enthusiasm and commitment, whereas when we play not to lose, we are playing from a position of weakness. When we play not to lose, we are playing to avoid failure. We all want to win, but very few are prepared to pay the price to prepare to win. Winners condition and commit themselves to winning. Playing to win comes out of inspiration, whereas playing not to lose comes of desperation.
There are no ideal circumstances. There will never be one. To reach anywhere we cannot just drift or lie at anchor. We need to sometimes sail with the wind and sometimes against it, but sail we must.
Now we’ll play a game which is called ‘Emmaus walk’.
Divide them into twos and ask them to go outside, maybe the garden so a stroll (this is known as Emmaus walk), tell them to speak to each other, observe the surroundings etc. give them 15 mins of this exercise.
Once they come back to the class ask each one of them to express their opinions, feelings, what they conversed with their partners etc. watch for their grammar, their confidence, how well they express themselves and give them points. Encourage them to speak and appreciate the efforts made.
Lastly, give them a topic and ask them to prepare for a debate the next day.
Let me share someone’s life history with you,
Their was man who failed in business at the age of 21, was defeated in a legislative race at 22, failed again in business at 24, overcame the death of his sweetheart at the age of 26, had a nervous breakdown at 27, lost a congressional race at the age of 34, lost a senatorial race at 45, failed in an effort to become vice- president at 47, lost senatorial race at the age of 49 and was elected president of the United States at the age of 52.
This man was Abraham Lincoln.
Now, would you call him a failure? He could have quit. But to Lincoln, defeat was a detour and not a dead end. We should all learn never to accept defeat and try, try and try until we succeed. I am reminded of the story of a spider which I read long ago when I was a kid, of how the spider tried and tried to spin the web and how at last it succeeded in doing so.
Now, who is a good leader??? Can you define a good leader???
Someone who is brave, courageous, daring???
Upto an extent; YES
But there are also other attributes also which go with a good leader.
They say there are born leaders, a lion is the born leader or king in the forest but what leadership quality or attributes at does he have?
A person can also be a leader if he has the right attributes.
A leader is among others:
1. Courageous
2. Supporting and support from followers
3. Enterprising
4. Committed
5. A go-getter
6. Democratic
7. Competent
8. Wise
9. Has the ability to influence
10. Is ready to take risks for the benefit of his people
Types of leadership:
1. bureaucratic type of leardership is the elite rule; for example the IAS or beaucrats in a country.
2. democratic type is the democratic rule which exists in our country.
3. Autocratic type is the rule of an autocratic power.
4. dictatorship is the rule of one dictator for example the rule of Hitler in Germany.
However in order to be a good leader one has to adopt various leadership styles according to situations. You can switch over styles of leadership to make versatile and easily enable you solve a problem.
According to Blanchard and Hersey leadership styles are characterised in terms of the amount of direction and of support that the leader gives to his/her followers;
Directing Leaders define the roles and tasks of the 'follower', and supervise them closely. Decisions are made by the leader and announced, so communication is largely one-way eg; Hilter’s Nazi Party.
Coaching Leaders still define roles and tasks, but seeks ideas and suggestions from the follower. Decisions remain the leader's prerogative, but communication is much more two-way.
Supporting Leaders pass day-to-day decisions, such as task allocation and processes, to the follower. The leader facilitates and takes part in decisions, but control is with the follower.
Delegating Leaders are still involved in decisions and problem-solving, but control is with the follower. The follower decides when and how the leader will be involved. Here the leader only acts as the head but in reality is only a puppet.
Effective leaders are versatile in being able to switch over to roles according to the situation, so there is no one right style. However, when you apply Situational Leadership you need to know which one and when to switch over to.
CHAPTER 13
SHARPEN YOUR AXE!
Start the day with the usual follow- up of the previous day.
Tell them to get ready for the debate, in the meantime tell them a story.
John, a woodcutter, worked for a company for five years but never got a raise. The company hired Bill and within a year he got a raise. This caused resentment in John and he went to his boss to talk about it. The boss said, “You are still cutting the same number of trees you were cutting five years ago. We are a result oriented company and would be happy to give you a raise if your productivity goes up.” John went back, started hitting harder and putting in longer hours but he still wasn’t able to cut more trees. He went back to his boss and told his dilemma. The boss told John to go talk to Bill. “Maybe there is something Bill knows that you don’t know.” John asked Bill how he managed to cut more trees. Bill answered, “After every tree I cut, I take a break for two minutes and sharpen my axe. When did you last sharpen your axe? This question hit home like a bullet and John got his answer.
My question is, when was the last time you sharpened your axe? Past glory and education don’t do it. We have to continuously sharpen the axe.
Most of the times we become satisfied with our past achievements and fail to focus on what’s new and with time we lose our sharpness to others.
Constant refreshment of memory/skills are important to achieve a goal.
Let each one come in front of the class and speak either for or against the topic given,
Careful assessment on their vocabulary, pronunciations, confidence should be necessarily done and improved upon each student.
Just like our bodies need good food everyday, our minds need good thoughts everyday. The key words in the preceding sentence are ‘good food and good thoughts’. If we feed our body with junk food and our mind with bad thoughts, we will have both a sick body and mind. We need to feed our mind with pure and the positive thoughts to stay on track to stay happy and make others happy.
When you share your sorrows, it divides but when you share your happiness it multiplies; it is often said. Be sympathetic but being empathetic is more important. You should know when to show sympathy and when to show
Empathy. Sympathy is “I understand how you feel but Empathy is “I feel how you feel”. How do you judge the nature of a person? Observe how he/she treats these categories of people:
1. Subordinates
2. Elderly
3. Children
4. disabled
5. Needy
6. Beggars
You will clearly know if they are treating them with empathy or sympathy.
Resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and wrong. Because some time in our lives we would have been all of these ourselves.
- Lloyd Shearer, 1986
CHAPTER 14
EXERCISING YOUR MIND
Start the class with a follow-up and their evaluation of their debate.
Give them a short poem and ask somebody to recite it, then point out the lacunae and the teacher will recite to show them how a poem is to be recited. Tell the students to memorize the poem for the next day. Once more recite to the students, ask them to observe your recitation.
My dear students, Learning is like eating food. It is not how much you eat that matters, what counts is how much you digest. Knowledge is potential power, wisdom is the real power.
Education takes many forms, it is not just grades and a degree; it is:
1. Cultivating your strength
2. Learning self- discipline
3. Listening
4. Desiring to learn
5. building on your existing potential or capacity
Our minds are like our muscles, they stretch or shrink depending on how much or how little we exercise them. When you fail to exercise your muscles, you become lethargic, it becomes painful for you when you try to exert them.
Hear me recite this poem by William Wordsworth; you all will then recite after me.
I WANDERED LONELY AS A CLOUD
I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.
Continuous as the stars
that shine and twinkle on the Milky Way,
They stretched in never-ending line
along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
tossing their heads in sprightly dance.
The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay,
in such a jocund company:
I gazed - and gazed - but little thought
what wealth the show to me had brought:
For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.
Next, you can show them a number of sentences which are jumbled, not in order and incorrect on the board and ask them to correct them. See how many can do it correctly and how fast.
After this exercise show them at least five pictures (of a short story such as the thirsty crow for example) and ask each one to stand and say a small story on the picture on what the picture symbolizes.
Tell the class you want a volunteer to teach phonetics which was done earlier, tell them you need a new person everyday to repeat the phonetics in each class while the whole class repeats after him/her and remember to ask them to use it in their vocabulary everyday.
You must be prepared for an extempore speech competition in the near future, where a topic will be given and you have to speak on the topic.
CHAPTER 15
THE 8 ACTION STEPS
Start the day by asking each one to recite the poem they have memorized yesterday, see how well they do it, then once again show them if necessary and tell them to practice, they will be asked again to recite the next day.
Let’s recite another poem by another poet, Robert Frost.
The Road Not Taken
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
I'm sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden back.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference
Let me conclude this class today with eight ‘ACTION STEPS’: You all should remember these steps to help you in future.
1. Be a good finder
2. Make a habit of doing it now
3. Develop an attitude of gratitude
4. Get into a continuous education program
5. Built positive self-esteem
6. Stay away from negative influences
7. Learn to like the things that need to be done
8. Start your day with a positive word/compliment to yourself.
Copy these action steps and paste them in your room and classroom and read it everyday.
For the next 30 minutes let them answer the following questions.
1. How can you use each step?
At home?
At college?
Socially?
2 Make a list of things you would like to change about yourself.
3 Then list the benefits to you (and others) of each change.
4 Now all of you must establish a time table and commit yourself to make the changes.
Now can anybody confident enough to face the class can come and give everybody a lesson on phonetics and the others will repeat after him/her.
CHAPTER 16
TIME MANAGEMENT
Start the day with a follow- up of the previous day.
Personal time management skills are essential skills for successful people. People who have these skills routinely are the highest achievers in all walks of life. If you use these skills well, then you will be able to function exceptionally well, even under intense pressure.
What's more, as you master these skills, you'll find that you have control of the pressure at work or studies as the case may be, and remove the often intense stress of work overload.
The important focus of time management remains:
To Concentrate on results, not on doing activities which do not yield effective results i.e; on being busy.
Many people spend their days in a frenzy of activity, but achieve very little because they're not concentrating on their effort on doing the things that matter the most. Try to manage your time accordingly.
Time- management tools
o Beating Procrastination/stop being lazy.
o Finding out how you really spend your time; try making Activity Logs
o Make Action Plans/Schedules
o Make a list of pending work and try to finish it.
o Prioritized To Do Lists
o Set Goals
Give them a new poem to recite, first the teacher recites.
My dear students, the journey to bring your best is not easy. It is full of setbacks. Winners have the ability to overcome and bounce back with even greater resolve. Let me recite to you a poem, remember to paste this in your classroom and recite it everyday.
DON’T QUIT
When things go wrong,
As they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit-
Rest you must, but don’t you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow-
You may succeed with another blow.
Success is failure turned inside out-
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you’ve hardest hit
It’s when things seem worst, that you mustn’t quit.
Fritz Kreisler, the great violinist was once asked, “How do you play so well? Are you lucky?” He replied, “It is practice. If I don’t practice for a month, the audience can tell the difference. If I don’t practice for a week, my wife can tell the difference. If I don’t practice for a day, I can tell the difference.”
Persistence is a decision. It is commitment to finish what to start. When we are exhausted, quitting looks good. But winners endure.
Now I shall give you some chits to choose, and whatever topic you get you have to speak on that for 2 minutes minimum, it may be a phrase or a proverb.
CHAPTER 17
CHANGE FOR GOOD
A quick follow-up of the previous class
We all have some negative habits that are pulling us down. Take 15 minutes alone and undisturbed, make a list of all the negative habits that are pulling you down, then all the positive habits you want to develop.
See that there is total silence and nobody/nothing disturbing the class. Let there be pin-drop silence for 15 minutes.
Now each one of you can come up and read what you have written aloud.
When we realize or become aware of our negative habits, we have two options one ignore the negative habits and hope it will go away or two, face up to it and overcome it.
The reason why people don’t change is they:
• Lack the desire to change
• Lack the discipline to change
• Lack the belief that they can change
• Lack the awareness for the need to change
• They are pulled back by their egos
Say to yourself everyday”I will change my bad habits”. Take 15 minutes go to any place maybe garden or library make a list of suggestions for yourself to change your bad habits; these are called auto- suggestions, make a list in present tense and keep it a secret, repeat them twice daily once in the morning and the next at night.
CAUTION: auto- suggestions may not be acceptable to your mind the first time you do it because it is an alien thought to your mind. For example, if for the past few decades I believed that I have a poor memory and now all of a sudden, I tell myself, “I have a good memory”, my mind will throw it out, saying, “You Liar! You have bad memory! ” Because that is what it has believed up to this point. It will take 21 days to dispel this notion. Why 21 days? Because it takes a minimum of 21 days of conscious, consecutive practice to formulate a habit.
The big question is: is 21 days of conscious effort a heavy price to pay to change a lifetime for the better? It sounds simple but it is not easy .I am not going to be surprised to see how few people go through this routine.
CHAPTER 18
A FRIEND INDEED!!!
A quick follow- up of the last class
Today I will give a small story, tell me who has kept the practice of reading and has improved, because practice makes perfect. All others can wait for their turn listen while she/he reads.
Here is a story,
The old adage, “an ounce of loyalty is worth more than a pound of cleverness,”
Do you know what it means? If you have someone with all the ability but if he is not dependable, do you want him as part of your team? No, not at all.
Someone come up and read this story, all must listen carefully because short questions will be asked on it.
I KNEW YOU WOULD COME!
There were two childhood buddies who went through school and college and even joined the army together. War broke out and they were fighting in the same unit. One night they were ambushed. Bullets were flying all over and out of the darkness came a voice,”Harry, please come and help me.” Harry immediately recognized the voice of his childhood buddy, Bill. He asked the captain if he could go. The captain said, “No, I can’t let you go, I am already short-handed and I cannot afford to lose one more person. Besides, the way Bill sounds he is not going to make it. “Harry kept quiet. Again the voice came, “Harry, please come and help me.” Harry sat quietly because the captain had refused earlier. Again and again the voice came. Harry couldn’t contain himself any longer and told the captain. “Captain, this is my childhood buddy. I have to go and help.” The captain reluctantly let him go. Harry crawled through the darkness and dragged Bill back into the trench. They found that Bill was dead. Now the captain got angry and shouted at Harry. “Didn’t I tell you he was not going to make it? He is dead, you could have been killed and I could have lost a hand. That was a mistake.” Harry replied, “Captain, I did the right thing. When I reached Bill he was still alive and his last words were “Harry, I new you would come.”
Let me tell you another short story,
It was a hot summer afternoon. An ant came to a pond to drink water. As it tried to drink water, it slipped down into the pond. A bird was sitting on a branch of tree and watching the ant, as soon as the ant slipped; the bird broke a big leaf and threw it into the water immediately. The leaf fell near the drowning ant and the ant climbed on it and was saved. The ant thanked the bird and said, “I will repay you one day for saving my life”. The bird laughed at the ant and flew away. After a week a hunter came to the forest. Suddenly he heard a bird singing. He looked up and saw the bird; the ant noticed the hunter. The hunter took a careful aim at the bird as soon as he was about to pull the trigger at the bird; the ant reached the hunter just in time and bit the foot of the hunter. The gun went off and missed the aim. The bird flew away quickly. Thus, the small ant saved the life of the bird.
Therefore, we should not underestimate another because of his/her weaknesses or lacunae.
CHAPTER 19
THE GARBAGE COLLECTOR!!!
A quick follow- up of the previous class.
Don’t be a garbage collector. Have you heard the phrase? Do you what it means? Well, it means forgive and forget!
Let me tell you a short story,
Jim and Jerry were childhood friends but for whatever reasons, the relationship fell apart and they hadn’t spoken for 25 years. Jerry was on his deathbed and didn’t want to enter eternity with a heavy heart. So he called Jim, apologized and said, Lets forgive each other and be done for the past.” Jim thought it was a good idea and decided to visit Jerry at the hospital.
They caught up on 25 years, patched up their differences and spent a couple of hours together. As Jim was leaving, Jerry shouted from behind, Jim, just in case I don’t die, remember, this forgiveness does not count.”
Life is too short to hold grudges. It is not worth it.
.
Let us try to remember all the persons who have wronged us, close your eyes and think about it deeply, try to remember everything that happened, how you have been hurt, now say slowly to yourself, “I forgive you for hurting me”, repeat it ten times then open your eyes. You will feel better.
A person who looks at the good side of things sees good things. We call such a person an optimist. One who looks at the bad side of things is a pessimist. One who looks at the good qualities of others will make many friends and live a happy life. The pessimist people will make their own as well as the lives of others miserable. We expect others not to look or mind our bad qualities or failures. Let us remember that the others too expect the same from us. A very good way to live a happy life with several friends is to learn to look at the good qualities of others. Every person has a good and a bad side of character; if we accept the good in a person then we should also be ready to accept the failures or lacunae of that person.
The teacher can ask short questions on the story, some grammar questions etc.
Hear these words and repeat after me, these are called one word substitutes.
1. Astronomy- Science of heavenly bodies
2. Anthropology- Science of development of human beings
3. Audible- Which can be heard
4. Corrigible- That can be corrected
5. Changeable- That can be changed
6. Cannibal- A person who eats human flesh
7. Calligraphy- Art of handwriting
8. Invincible- That cannot be conquered
9. Polytheist- A person who worships many Gods
10. Brittle- Easily breakable
Now try to find out more one sentence substitutes as the above.
CHAPTER 20
HOW TO WRITE A RESUME
A follow up the previous day
Job seekers are getting great advice today from a variety of sources about pursuing career opportunities. The total job search process is well-documented in terms of how to perform discrete steps such as drafting a resume, preparing and using cover letters, using job boards on the internet, etc. While mastering each of the steps is important, it doesn't necessarily enable a job seeker to address the "spaces between the notes" of the Job Search process. Good mechanics may not be enough to get to the job offer.
Here are a number of tips to write a CV / resume:
• Gather and Check All Necessary Information - Learn to write a resume by writing down information under headings. Write your resume example that embraces your education; experience; honors; skills and activities and make a list of your training and education relating to your job choice.
• Match Your Skills and Experience with an Employer's Needs - Choose a target job/title that works best and write a good resume by matching your wishes with positions that are actually available.
• Highlight Details That Demonstrate Your Capabilities - Learn to write a good resume by selecting details of your information that best matches the employer’s needs. Results need to benefit your employer and make you a viable candidate for the target job.
• Organize the Resume Effectively - You write a resume by organizing your Personal information followed by a Summary of key points, Education, Experience, Honors and Activities. Write a good resume chronologically listing primary jobs held, including unpaid work that fills a gap or that shows you have the skills for the job. Write your resume example and compare with other like-positions resumes and create a draft based on the resume format you choose References are a separate entity and may not be included, but always have solid reference available if requested.
• Consider Word Choice Carefully - You write a resume that accurately describes you – your skills, talents and expertise. Write a good resume by utilizing active verbs (in many forms) such as achieve, analyze, adapt. Learn to write a resume that describes you positively and accurately. Write a good resume using adjectives and nouns such as analytical, resourceful, and capable.
• Ask Other People to Comment on Your Resume -. Remain open-minded when you write a resume and with constructive criticism, the final resume will achieve its objective. Ask your friends and trusted colleagues to review and critique your resume.
• Make the Final Product Presentable – The resume should be presentable, neatly and correctly written without any spelling mistakes.
"The process of writing a resume"
The CV/resume format is essential to reviewing all your personal and professional successes. Refine your resume format, keep it concise and create a top-notch resume that is a perfect reflection of you.
Content:
• Name is at top of the page when you write a resume: this is highlighted by larger type size and in bold and an option to underline.
• Make sure that the Address and phone number(s) are complete and correct when you write a resume.
• All entries when you write a resume highlight a capability or accomplishment/activities.
• Descriptions use active verbs with consistent tense as you write a resume.
• Repetitions of words or phrases are kept to a minimum when you write a resume.
• Capitalization, punctuation, and date formats are consistent as you write a resume.
• There are NO typos or spelling errors when you write a resume.
Organization:
• Best assets when you write a resume are listed first - whether education, experience, or skills.
• When you write a resume the page must be easily reviewed: categories - clear, text - indented.
• Dates of employment - easy to find and consistently formatted when you write a resume.
• Your name - printed at the top of each page as you write a resume.
Format/Design:
• No more than two conservative typestyles should appear when you write a resume.
• Consistent use of bold lettering, italics, and capitalization needs to support the information structure when you write a resume.
• Margins and line spacing are used to minimize overcrowding when you write a resume.
• When you write a resume print only on one side of the high-quality bond paper - your choice of beige or ivory is preferable when you write a resume.
• Good reproduction needed when you write a resume - no blurring, stray marks, or faint letters.
• Right justification creates awkward white spaces when you write a resume - right side of the page needs "ragged" format.
Avoid common resume blunders in your resume format.
Appearances count:
• use good paper for your sample resume;
• proofread and check grammar and spelling;
• One typo may land your sample resume in the garbage.
Don’t list irrelevant information on your resume format:
• only include interests relating to your job on the sample resume;
• Personal information does not belong on a resume format.
Include a summary section on this resume format:
• know the skills and competencies important to the position;
• research and demonstrate the skill level and experiences related to the position sought;
• Write a list of your matching skills, experience and education in this sample resume.
How to write a CV from a college or vocational student point of view?
Tips to write a CV / preparing a CV format
To write a college resume summarize your academic, employment and personal experiences to "introduce" you to potential employers and interest them in interviewing you. Write a college resume and focus it toward a particular career field or industry - concentrate on only the most pertinent information when you write a college resume.
Before sitting down to write a college resume, review your educational, extracurricular and work history. Make lists of the jobs you've held, schools you've attended, clubs you've joined, honors you've received, skills you have, duties you've performed, but of course the final college resume won’t include everything. Items included when you write a college resume should be listed in reverse chronological order, from most recent backward. Omit information on date of birth, marital status, height, weight, etc.
Layout is crucial when you write a college resume. Resumes are skimmed before they are read, so use indentations, capitalization, spacing, and underlining to make it easy for the reader to find all the pertinent information.
Proofread after you write a college resume – an employer will quickly eliminate a resume with errors.
Check the following areas as you write a college resume:
Name, Address, Phone Numbers, E-Mail Address:
Can be centered or in left or right corners when you write a college resume.
If appropriate, include both a current address and a permanent address along with your e-mail address as you write a college resume.
Objective:
• Though inclusion of a job objective is optional when you write a college resume, there can be real advantages in letting the reader know "up front" what it is you are looking for. e.g. "Assistant Account Executive position at a Marketing Agency."
• If you want to use only one resume for several types of positions, it is best to leave off an objective when you write a college resume.
Education (starting with the most recent):
• All the information when you write a college resume should be easy to pick out.
• If you were very active in school select only the three or four interesting and impressive extracurricular activities as you write a college resume. Lesser or unknown awards can be explained briefly, for example, “Women’s Honorary Society." Be sure to include all honors, special awards and recognition when you write a college resume.
• When you write a college resume include your G.P.A. if it is 3.0 or above. G.P.A. is calculated as follows: 3.15 can be rounded up to 3.2. However, 3.14 cannot be rounded up. If you are calculating a major G.P.A., be sure that if employers ask for your transcript, they will be able to follow your calculation, and replicate it.
Experience:
• When you write a college resume list what you've done in reverse order, from most recent backward. In some instances, however, you may want to divide your experience into sub-sections as you write a college resume. Within each section, organize the information chronologically from most recent.
• It is appropriate to include unpaid internships and volunteer work when you write a college resume along with paid employment in your "EXPERIENCE" section being as brief as possible.
• Use active verbs when you write a college resume describing what you did Phrases like: "Responsibilities included (or 'duties included') creating schedules and reviewing protocols" are less effective than the simple: "Created schedules and reviewed protocols."
Personal (Or Background, Special Skills and Interests):
Special skills such as foreign/computer languages known, travel/living abroad, sports, and personal interests is interesting information when you write a college resume that employers may find intriguing but does not fit anywhere else.
When you write a college resume this is optional though most employers are very interested in what "else" you do. It's a good idea to include this section as you write a college resume.
References:
Do not include this when you write a college resume. If desired, an employer will ask for them.
New Wrinkles in Resumes:
On-line resumes, (not a replica) which can be faxed to computers, e-mailed, or scanned by employers.
Use fonts 10 and up and delete all italics, indentations, horizontal or vertical lines, since they cannot be scanned.
Your scannable resume can be more than one page.
Types of CV / resume
Resumes are personalized and unique. Given the choices, what decision about the style and sample resume format is best for YOU?
Resumes are as unique as the “finger print” because they highlight the skills, qualifications and accomplishments of each individual’s work history that is a unique personalized record. However, if you focus on a sample resume format there are distinct resume formats available.
• Targeted CV - Targeted sample resume format focuses your resume toward a specific career objective, performed in a specific industry, and for a specific company. The content of a targeted sample resume format highlights the skills, qualifications, and experience that match the requirements of your job target.
• Inventory / Alternative CV - The inventory sample resume format is not limited to a specific job title and has a general objective. An inventory sample resume format is used repeatedly for multiple company applications. The inventory sample resume format highlights your skills, qualifications, and achievements in a more general manner. You need a clear general objective, and then focus the content of your inventory sample resume format on 4-6 key skills and abilities, relevant to your general objective. The inventory sample resume format is the resume format of choice for job search campaigns.
• Chronological CV - The chronological sample resume format highlights progressive career growth and advancement. The chronological sample resume format is easy to read and quickly scanned for employment history. The chronological sample resume format is the most accepted resume format among hiring authorities. In fact, many even prefer and/or expect the chronological resume format.
• Functional CV - The functional sample resume format highlights key skills, accomplishments, and qualifications at the top of the resume format irrespective of the time it occurred. The functional sample resume format places the focus on what you have done rather than where or when you did it. This functional sample resume format is not the resume format of choice by hiring authorities because it feels this functional sample resume format hides some deficiency in your career history.
• Combination CV - This combination sample resume format combines the benefits of both the chronological sample resume format and the functional sample resume format. The functional sample resume format initiates and summarizes your most impressive qualifications, skills, abilities, and accomplishments, followed by an employment history section, in chronological sample resume format that supports the statements made in your summary.
This is a summary of some key issues to address to be effective in working on those "spaces between the notes."
Understanding the first steps taken by the employer is vital for the job seeker, so let's begin there because first impressions last long..
Some resume formats will be handed over to students for reference, their task will be to make a resume as best as they can.
CHAPTER 21
WRITE YOUR COVER LETTER RIGHT!!!
A quick follow- up of the last class starting with;
Resume Design
A resume screener searches for candidates who match the specifications. A strong, focused resume that captures three or four core competencies plus related accomplishments allows the screener to make multiple connections with the job specifications. The resume screener doesn't need to know all that the job seeker has ever done; instead, he/she is looking for the match between the specs and the background outlined in the resume. Some key points:
• Core competencies are the key skills of the job seeker, those skills that are performed well, with subject matter expertise, supported by solid accomplishments.
• Core competencies should be evident throughout the two-page resume.
• Every job seeker has one set of core competencies, so one resume should be used, mixing and matching the presentation of the core competencies to improve the correlation with job specs as needed.
If the core competencies match up well with the specs, then the process moves forward.
“COVER LETTER ALONGWITH A COPY OF YOUR RESUME"
Today I shall teach you to write a cover letter. This should always accompany your resume/CV.
Write a resume cover letter that:
• indicates your interest in a particular company or position,
• summarizes the most important aspects of your education and experience,
• Contact information for the prospective interview is supplied.
Important Tips while writing a Cover Letter
• Not even one spelling or typing error when you write a resume cover letter
• Write a resume cover letter and address it to the appropriate person making the hiring decision. Be sure the name is spelled correctly and the title is correct. A touch of formality is good too: address the person as "Mr.," "Ms.," "Mrs.," "Miss," "Dr.," or "Professor."
• Write a resume cover letter in your own words – do not plagiarize. Employers are looking for knowledge, enthusiasm, and focus.
• Being "natural" makes many people nervous when they write a resume cover letter. And then even more nervous because they are trying to avoid spelling errors and grammatical mistakes.
• When you write a resume cover letter - research the industry and especially the company. You know who they are, understand what they do and they are your choice!
• Use terms and phrases when you write a resume cover letter that are meaningful to the employer. If you are applying for an advertised position, use the requirements in the ad and put them in BOLD type. For example: the ad says - "2 years' experience processing magnetic media (cartridge, tape, disc); interface with benefit plan design, contracts and claims; and business background with strong analytical & technical skills--dBase, Excel, R&R, SQL."
If using an e-mail format when you write a resume cover letter – Keep it short. Make it direct, efficiently and clearly communicating what you're looking for. As you write the resume cover letter, briefly summarize your key skills and experience. A well-written e-mail cover letter will prompt a recruiter to take the time to read your resume. A lengthy, vague or non-specific letter when you write the resume cover letter will cause a recruiter to lose interest.
Show them some samples of cover letters, formats they could use. Let them prepare a cover letter to get an idea.
CHAPTER 22
INTERVIEW TALK
Start the day with the follow-up.
Today I will tell you how to face an interview and make it a success. Let’s start with some basic information.
Phone Screening Interview: Recruiters contact those prospects that appear to match up well with the specs to determine if they are viable candidates. Like resume preparation, there are abundant resources available for how to handle this step as well, but some key points to improve performance are:
• Recruiters ask questions because they don't know what the answers are. Respond to the questions asked; avoid using questions to segue into other areas.
• Comments about career, job roles and responsibilities are most effective if the job specs are used to drive the details.
• Core competencies should be presented using the priorities of the job specifications as script direction. Any shortcomings versus the specs should be addressed by citing other, comparable achievements.
• Finally, close the call with a summary of core competencies and state a strong interest in a meeting to discuss the opportunity.
All other considerations being equal, the job seeker who stays "on message" by presenting his/her core competencies in terms of the job specifications will get the opportunity to interview for the position.
Interviewing job seekers enables a company to evaluate the candidates, test their own expectations and find the "best fit" to effectively meet their hiring goals. Consider some key points about job interviewing:
• The job specs provide a "road map" for content. Use the specs to share details about career, job roles and responsibilities that connect to the specs.
• Listen to the Interviewer and answer the questions asked.
• Be prepared to ask a few solid questions that demonstrate knowledge and comfort level with the job specifications, which will illustrate that you "walk the talk" when it comes to the company requirements.
• A final point: ask for the job!
Job Interview Tips
An interview gives you the opportunity to showcase your qualifications to an employer, so it pays to be well prepared. The following information provides some helpful hints.
• Learn about the organization.
• Have a specific job or jobs in mind.
• Review your qualifications for the job.
• Prepare answers to broad questions about yourself.
• Review your résumé.
• Practice an interview with a friend or relative.
• Arrive before the scheduled time of your interview.
CHAPTER 23
FIRST IMPRESSION IS THE LAST IMPRESSION…
Start with a quick follow- up, followed by a mock interview.
Today each one of you will have a mock interview, questions will be asked, let me see how well you can handle this mock interview.
Now before I start the interview, here are some tips which you should follow on your social graces and dress- up before you face the interview:
Personal appearance
• Be well groomed.
• Dress appropriately.
• Do not chew gum or smoke.
The interview
• Relax and answer each question concisely.
• Respond promptly.
• Use good manners.
• Learn the name of your interviewer and greet him or her with a firm handshake.
• Use proper English—avoid slang.
• Be cooperative and enthusiastic.
• Use body language to show interest.
• Ask questions about the position and the organization, but avoid questions whose answers can easily be found on the company Web site. Also avoid asking questions about salary and benefits unless a job offer is made.
• Thank the interviewer when you leave and, as a follow-up, in writing.
Test (if employer gives one):
• Listen closely to instructions.
• Read each question carefully.
• Write legibly and clearly.
• Budget your time wisely and don’t dwell on one question.
Information to bring to an interview:
• Social Security card.
• Government-issued identification (driver’s license).
• Résumé. Although not all employers require applicants to bring a résumé, you should be able to furnish the interviewer information about your education, training, and previous employment.
• References. Employers typically require three references. Get permission before using anyone as a reference. Make sure that they will give you a good reference. Try to avoid using relatives as references.
• Transcripts. Employers may require an official copy of transcripts to verify grades, coursework, dates of attendance, and highest grade completed or degree awarded.
SOME IMPORTANT TIPS TO MAKE AN IMPRESSION DURING THE INTERVIEW
• An excellent initial impression is an essential job interview as it exudes a favorable glow on everything else you say during the rest of the interview.
• A job interviewer interprets body language as an important tool e.g. confidence is related to good posture and brisk gait.
• Good listening skills are an essential job interview technique - remain calm and collected and respond promptly when questioned.
• Proper preparation – gives you an edge regarding job interview techniques but make sure that you interact well with the interviewer and don’t succumb to memorized answers.
• An effective job interview technique is to adjust your speed of speech to match that of the interviewer and project a relaxed image.
• Do not make negative comments during the interview. A preferable job interview technique that greatly increases your chances of getting a job offer is projecting a positive, upbeat attitude another effective job interview technique is adapting your answers to match the type of company interviewing you.
• An important job interview technique is to follow the interview style established e.g. structured or unstructured and respond to the questions accordingly. Following the style will leave the interviewer with a more favorable impression of you.
• During the first meeting, emphasize one of your key, distinctive strengths as much as possible as a job interview technique. During later interviews the job interview technique necessary is to present you as a well-balanced choice for the position.
• Keep up with industry trends or studies related to your field by reading trade publications and talk with industry insiders – a job interview technique that will lead to success.
• Have prior knowledge of the company – a job interview technique that gives you an added advantage.
• Invading your privacy can be illegal, a job interview technique is to gracefully point out that the question is illegal and decline to respond or calmly refer to the question making you uncomfortable.
Being prepared for a telephone interview - keep your resume and alphabetized company dossiers by the telephone as a good job interview technique and always remain calm, poised and positive.
In addition, these should be avoided at all costs during the job interview process:
• arriving late
• dressing inappropriately
• lacking confidence
• being inconsistent
• poor attitude
• reacting in a hostile fashion
The interview questions and answers (Q&A) process:
The interview question and answer should be a two-way conversation. Ask job interview questions of the potential employers. The interview question and answer shows your interest in the company and the position. The two-way interview question and answer enables you to gather the right information to make an intelligent decision afterwards. The interviewers are trying to see how you can contribute to the company, so your answer to job interview questions are essential preparation tools. Conduct yourself with confidence and determination to get the job. Sell yourself by answering interview questions with prior knowledge from your preparation research. Brief and relaxed answers to job interview questions are required. Here are some samples Q&A s:
• “Tell me about yourself” – your answer to job interview question should be about background qualifications and gear your answering interview questions such as this with responses regarding the duties and responsibilities you are interviewing for.
• Your answer to job interview questions about salary should be truthful regarding current salary and explain all commissions, added bonuses etc. Don’t state a starting figure when answering interview questions regarding salary.
• Motive interview questions such, as “what can you contribute to this company” requires an enthusiastic answer to job interview question.
• When answering interview questions about personality present yourself as a well-rounded person with added dimension.
• Other job interview questions, especially about job satisfaction, require integrity. Don’t speak poorly of previous employers when answering interview questions.
Sample interview questions you can expect!
• What positions are you most interested in and why?
• What makes you more qualified than the other applicants?
• What do you know about our company?
• What skills do you have to offer our company?
• What are some of your strengths and weaknesses?
• What salary, hourly and/ or benefits are you expecting?
• What are planning to be doing in 5 years?
• Why are you considering a career change at this time?
• What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses?
• What do you like the most/least about your current job?
• Why should we hire you?
• What do you like (dislike) about your current position (boss)?
CHAPTER 24
MEASURE YOUR EQ & IQ
A quick follow- up of the last class.
Can you tell me what are EQ and IQ? Can you give some examples?
EQ is a measure of your emotional intelligence, or your ability to use both your emotions and cognitive skills in your life. Emotional intelligence competencies include but are not limited to empathy, intuition, creativity, flexibility, resilience, coping, stress management, leadership, integrity, authenticity, intrapersonal skills and interpersonal skills.
IQ is a number used to express the apparent relative intelligence of a person that is the ratio multiplied by 100 of the mental age as reported on a standardized test to the chronological age. IQ is the measure of cognitive abilities, such as the ability to learn or understand or to deal with new situations; the skilled use of reason; the ability to apply knowledge to manipulate one's environment or to think abstractly as measured by objective criteria (as tests); mental acuteness; logic and analytical skills.
A person with High EQ:
• Expresses his feelings clearly and directly with three word sentences beginning with
• Does not disguise thoughts as feelings by the use of "I feel like...." and "I feel that...."
• Is not afraid to express her feelings.
• Is not dominated by negative emotions such as: Fear, Worry, Guilt, Shame, Embarrassment, Obligation, Disappointment, Hopelessness, Powerlessness, Dependency, Victimization, Discouragement
• Is able to read non-verbal communication.
• Lets his feelings lead him to healthy choices and happiness.
• Balances feelings with reason, logic, and reality.
• Acts out of desire, not because of duty, guilt, force or obligation.
• Is independent, self-reliant and morally autonomous.
• Is intrinsically motivated.
• Is not motivated by power, wealth, status, fame, or approval.
• Is emotionally resilient.
• Tends to feel optimistic, but is also realistic, and can feel pessimistic at times.
A person with Low EQ:
• Doesn't take responsibilities for his feelings; but blames you or others for them
• Can't put together three word sentences starting with "I feel..."
• Can't tell you why she feels the way she does, or can't do it without blaming someone else.
• Attacks, blames, commands, criticizes, interrupts, invalidates, lectures, advises and judges you and others.
• Tries to analyze you, for example when you express your feelings.
• Often begins sentences with "I think you..."
• Withholds information about or lies about his feelings. (Emotional dishonesty)
• Lacks integrity and a sense of conscience.
• Doesn’t tell you where you really stand with her/ him
• Acts out his feelings, rather than talking them out.
• Is insensitive to your feelings.
You can test their IQ with some simple IQ testing questions, maybe like a 30 minutes quiz.
CHAPTER 25
TIPS FOR AN EFFECTIVE PRESENTATION
A follow- up of the last class.
Can anybody let me what is presentation? Any answers?
• The objective of a presentation is not the transmission but the reception
• To make your message understood and remembered
• An average human being has a very short attention span and a million other things to think about. Objective in the presentation is to reach through this mental fog and to hold their attention long enough to make your point.
Here are some tips to make an effective presentation to ensure that the audience listens.
• Analyze your audience
• Set your goal and keep it before you
• Do your homework
• Confidence is the key – predetermine your mind to success
• Plan the parts of your presentation
• Plan your format and delivery
• Making a powerful first impression
• How to present with passion
• Manage expectations
• Keep your audience’s attention
• Do more than a lecture
I shall give you a topic to present.
Divide them into groups, give each group a particular topic, and give them 25 minutes to prepare a presentation. Let them prepare in any way they like. After 25 minutes ask each group to come forward with their presentations.
Always remember; while you give your presentations, you should keep your own advocacy and point of views and emotions about the topic to a minimum. Instead you use enquiry and reflection/summarising and providing relevant information on the topic, as the dominant communication protocol. By enquiring into the audiances’s own ideas and summarising their points and asking them to take their own thinking further brainstoming information and ideas will make the presentation more lively and will ensure that you are heard and understood. If you do want to share your point of view, preferably do so after your presentation is over, after you conclude. Similarly encourage the others to share their views too.
CHAPTER 26
BE A SUCCESS…
The day starts with a follow- up.
Successful people are not looking for miracles or easy tasks. They have the courage to do the harder tasks, to handle tough tasks. They see what is left to be done next than what has been unsuccessful or failed effort. Prayers are only answered when teamed with handwork and courage to do that difficult task with the aim to do it successfully. Courage and Character both go a long way to gain success. This is the difference between the ordinary and the extraordinary.
When we are courageous; we do not allow ourselves to be overcome with fears and obstacles which are the major force to pull us down. Character without integrity, justice and courage is useless while only courage is oppression. There should be a combination of these two to create a successful human being.
When people lack purpose and direction, they see no opportunity. When a person has a desire to accomplish something, he will achieve it no matter what the obstacles maybe or what else you have.
A topic will be given to you and you will be given 5 minutes to prepare a speech and will be given 3 minutes to speak on it.
Make some chits with some possible topics, make the topics as simple as possible and make them choose from the chits and speak on the topics. This exercise lasts for 30 minutes.
Does any one of you feels confident enough to come up here and give a class of phonetics to your friends? Let the others repeat after you.
Later another person can read a story pronouncing each word correctly, while the whole class repeats after you.
There was a farmer who sold a pound of butter to the baker. One day the baker decided to weigh the butter to see if he was getting a pound and he found that he was not. This angered him and he took the farmer to court. The judge asked the farmer if he was using any measure. The farmer replied, “Your honor, I am primitive. I don’t have a proper measure, but I do have a scale.” The judge asked,”Then how do you weigh the butter?” The farmer replied, “Your honor, long before the baker started buying butter from me, I have been buying a pound loaf of bread from him. Everyday when the baker brings the bread, I put it on the scale and give the same weight in butter. If anyone is to be blamed it is the baker.”
What is the moral of the story?
We get back in life what we give others.
Tell them to present the skit in English tomorrow; prepared by them earlier.
CHAPTER 27
FOCUS ON YOUR GOALS
A quick follow- up and then give them 5 minutes to organize themselves for the skit. The skit lasts for 45 minutes taking into account all the groups and their skit timings
Let me tell you a story before we wind up this class.
An ancient Indian sage was teaching his disciples the art of archery. He put a wooden bird as the target and asked them to aim at the eye of the bird. The first disciple was asked to describe what he saw. He said, “I see the trees, the branches, the leaves, the sky, the bird and its eye.”
The sage asked this disciple to wait. Then he asked the second disciple the same question and he replied, “I only see the eye of the bird.” The sage said very well, then shoot.” The arrow went straight and hit the eye of the bird.
What is the moral of the story?
Unless we focus, we cannot achieve our goal. It is hard to focus and concentrate, but it is a skill that can be learned.
Why are goals important?
On the best sunny day, the most powerful magnifying glass will not light paper if you keep moving the glass. But if you focus and hold it, the paper will light up. That is the power of concentration
A man was traveling and stopped at an intersection. He asked an elderly man, “Where does this road take me?” the elderly person replied, “Where do you want to go?” The man replied, “I don’t know”. The elderly person said, “then take any road, what difference does it make?”
How true! When we don’t know where we are going, any road will take us there.
Success is like baking a cake; unless you have the right recipe your cake will be messed up. Persistence is a strong will to do something while Obstinacy represents stubbornness; a strong will not to do anything.
You should:
• Play to win and not lose.
• Learn from other’s mistakes; only fools learning by experience.
• Give your best shot always.
• Evaluate your strengths and weaknesses.
• Self assessment is important.
• Never compromise on your integrity
• Be honest to yourself
• Never lose hold on your morals and integrity.
CHAPTER 28
DETERMNATION
Start the class with a quick follow- up of the previous class.
Ask each of the students to come up and give a speech without hesitation; with confidence. This takes about 30- 40 minutes. Each of them will have to say the speech for 1 minute and 30 seconds grace.
After this you can ask another new face to come up a read a story aloud correctly, while the second time she/he reads, the others can repeat.
The Wilma Rudolph Story
There was once a girl named Wilma Rudolph. She was born into a poor home in Tennessee with scarlet fever, a deadly combination which left her paralyzed with polio. She had to wear a brace and the doctor said she would never put her first foot on the earth. But her mother encouraged her; she told Wilma that with God given ability, persistence and faith she could do anything she wanted. Wilma said, “I want to be the the fasted woman on track on this earth.” At age of nine, against the advice of the doctors, she removed the brace and took the first step the doctors had said she never would. At the age of 13, she entered her first race and came, way last. And then she entered her second, third and fourth and came way, way last until a day came when she came in first.
At the age of 15 she went to Tennessee State University where she met a coach by the name of Ed Temple. She told him, “I want to be the fastest woman on the track on this earth”. Temple said. ”with your spirit nobody can stop you and besides, I will help you.”
The day came when she was at the Olympics and at the Olympics you are matched with the best of the best. Wilma was matched against a woman named Jutta Heine who had never been beaten. The first event was the 100- meter race. Wilma beat Jutta Heine and won her first gold medal. The second event was the 200- metre race and Wilma beat Jutta a second time and won her second gold medal. The third event was the 400- meter relay and she was racing against Jutta one more time. In the relay, the fastest person always runs the last lap and they both anchored their teams. The first three people ran and changed the baton easily. When it came to Wilma’s turn, she dropped the baton. But Wilma saw Jutta shoot up at the other end, she picked the baton, ran like a machine, beat Jutta a third time and won her third gold medal. It became history. A paralytic woman became the fastest woman on this earth at the 1960 Olympics.
What a lesson to learn from Wilma. It teaches us how Wilma was determined about what she wanted from life; she was determined to achieve it. It also teaches us that determined people do it and are successful in spite, of problems. When we hear stories of people who have turned adversity into opportunity we will be motivated to excel in life.
Determination is powerful. It can persuade, convince and make do you something. Determination together with Motivation is the force behind an action. It is the driving forces of our lives; it comes from our desire to achieve something. Encouragement motivates lack of motivation and determination brings failure and finally frustration.
There are three types of motivation:
1. External motivation- which comes from external factors such as losing a job or something very dear.
2. Incentive motivation- which is the desire to achieve high goals or to get incentives or promotions.
3. Internal motivation- which comes from inner satisfaction; satisfaction of doing things perfectly.
The determination to achieve the impossible motivates us to achieve that ‘impossible’.
CHAPTER 29
WORLD; THE REFECTION OF YOU’
A follow up of the previous class, start with story.
There is a legend about a wise man who sitting outside his village. A traveler came up and asked him, “What kind of people live in this village, because I am looking to move from my present one?” The wise man asked. “What kind of people live where you want to move from?” The man said, “They are mean, cruel, and rude.” The wise man replied, “The same kind of people live in this village too”. After some time another traveler came by and asked the same question and the wise man asked him, “What kind of people live where you want to move from?” and the traveler replied,” the people are very kind, courteous, polite and good.” The wise man said, “You will find the same kind of people here too.”
What is the moral of the story?
Generally we see the world not the way it is but the way we are. Most of the time, other people’s behavior is a reaction to our own.
The biggest hurdle in building a positive relationship is Ego. Ego is self-intoxicating. Ego is negative pride resulting in arrogance. Healthy pride is a feeling of the pleasure of accomplishment with humility. Ego gives a swollen head while pride gives a swollen heart. A big head gives a headache whereas a big heart gives humility.
No matter what the size of a person’s accomplishments are, there is never an excuse for having a big head. Pride, with humility, ‘yes’ but ‘big head ‘no’.
To an egocentric person, the world begins ends and revolves around him. An egoist can be funny with default. A boss asked one of his employees how badly he wanted a raise. The employee said, “Real badly, I have been praying for one.” The boss replied, ‘you are not going to get it because you went over my head.”
An egoist talks and looks down on others.
There is a direct relationship between people’s feelings and their productivity. A positive person will have a high productivity while an egoist will always have to deal negative feelings arising out of his ego.
CHAPTER 30
LISTEN AND CARE…
The concluding day can be a brief summary of the previous 29 days. A brief follow up and then ask them to come one by one and say whatever they have learnt all these days.
Ask yourself these questions. How does it make you feel when you wanted somebody to listen to you and:
• They did most of the talking?
• They disagreed with the first thing, you said?
• They interrupted you at every step?
• They were impatient and completed every sentence you started?
• They were physically present but mentally absent?
• They heard but didn’t listen. You had to repeat the same thing three times because the other person wasn’t listening?
• They came to conclusions unrelated to facts?
• They were fidgety and distracted?
• They were obviously not listening or paying attention?
All these things show disinterest in the person or the topic and total lack of courtesy. What were your feelings towards those reactions?
Let us reverse the scenario. How does it make you feel when you want someone to listen to you and they:
• Make you comfortable?
• Give you their undivided attention?
• Ask appropriate and relevant questions?
• Show interest in your subject?
Now how did you feel?
Here are some tips to be good listener
1. Encourage the speaker to talk
2. Ask questions. It shows interest
3. Don’t interrupt
4. Don’t change the topic
5. Show understanding and respect
6. Pay attention and concentration
7. Avoid distractions
8. Show empathy
9. Be- open minded. Don’t let preconceived ideas and prejudices prevent you from listening.
10. Concentrate on the message and not the delivery.
11. Recognize the nonverbal communication, such as facial expressions, eye contact etc. They might be communicating a different message from the verbal.
12. Listen to feelings and not just words.
Listening shows caring. When you show a caring attitude toward another person, that person feels important. When he feels important what happens? He is more motivated and more receptive to your ideas.
You can call each one for a personal counseling, try to listen to their inhibitions and negative feelings holding them back and give wise and practical solution.
CAUTION: Listen with empathy not sympathy.
WRAP-UP AND FEEDBACK
4.3. Feedback Session (60 minutes)
After the session the participants know how the other participants see them in terms of qualities shown during the training and learning points.
Discuss the process and purpose of making a “Plus/Delta Feedback Chart.”
Introduction
Throughout this 2day programme, the group has worked closely together and have come to know each other quite well. High performance persons seek out each other’s feedback to further improve their performance and contributions. Feedback is seen as a professional process to support each other to improve.
The final activity of this training is to give feedback to each other. The feedback process will be based on a Plus-Delta technique. Each team member will receive feedback from all other team members that will be briefly presented by the team on a flipchart. After questions for clarification only, the team will offer the flip chart as a gift to the team member receiving the feedback".
Process
To begin, decide who will be first to receive feedback. That person leaves the room and waits outside. Next, quickly appoint a facilitator who will write on a flip chart the team feedback for the person who has stepped outside.
Write the name of the person receiving feedback at the top of the flipchart page. Divide the flipchart page in two halves. Label the left side: “What we appreciate +++” and label the other half “What we would like to see more/less of ∆∆∆.”
With the team member who will receive the feedback out of the room, the other team members should discuss specific and constructive information about the person’s behavior that the facilitator collects on the Plus-Delta flipchart. The feedback for the individual should focus on his/her observable behaviors, contributions, body language etc. throughout the 2 days. The facilitator should focus the team on what to write and assure that the feedback is not an opportunity to attack a person but is aimed at helping the person receiving feedback to improve.
Invite the person back into the room and share the feedback on the flip chart starting with the plus column. Keep the presentation light, brief and don’t give lengthy explanations. What is written should be self-explanatory. The person receiving feedback may only ask questions for clarification e.g. what do you mean by this, can you give an example etc. when necessary. There should be no discussion and/or explaining/defending past behaviours. When finished, as a team congratulate and thank the person receiving feedback and offer the flip chart as a gift.
The facilitator should move the process forward and in terms of time keeping we suggest a feedback cycle (collecting and delivery) of 10 minutes. Repeat the process for each individual in the group and we suggest to rotate the role of facilitator.
5. Wrap up/ Action plan (60 minutes)
Several aspects are important:
1. give the participants 10 minutes to write down what they have learned the past 2 days and let them write down some action points. Important question: what will I do differently the coming days and weeks?
Participants should be guided to produce action plans that:
• are simple and straightforward
• are clear and unambiguous
• contain items that can be implemented by the learner at work, with or without support
• or any resources that might be available
• contain comments on the methods to be used; the resource required and the timings: start, finish times or dates, for all the action items (use 'SMART' - Specific, Measurable, Agreed, Realistic, Time-bound)
Finally, action plans should be achievable in the context of work demands. Action plans should not contain more items than the learner can handle without undue delay or creating problems at work. If the action list appears to be too complex or long, items should be scheduled for progressive introduction, when prior items have been completed.
2. ask them how they experienced the past 2 days?
3. Ask them to fill in the evaluation form (appendix K)
Good Luck I wish each one of you all that accomplishments in your life.
Thank you.
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